A. Understand the context of who you are and who you
could become
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- 1. Aspirations - Who are you, who
are you becoming and who could you become?
"Becoming the new you" is a very personalized process,
and varies dramatically among individuals. However, it is important
to determine in which general transgender group you are currently,
because the "money steps" can be much different depending
on the group.
- Consider these 3 groups, and reflect on which
one you are currently in:
Group A - Occasional crossdressing (with few people in your everyday
life knowing)
Group B - Frequent crossdressing, experimenting with transsexual
ambitions (and coming out to many people)
Group C - Taking significant steps to fully become a woman
- Now, reflect on which group you plan to enter
and when. What major changes do you hope for. Think about your
underlying reasons, and envision your expectations of greater
self-esteem, happiness, contentment, improved outlook, changed
appearance, youthfulness, fun, vitality, better relationships,
etc. Consider all of this apart from your concerns about money,
and try to consider all of this apart from limitations relating
to the physical aspects or relating to personal relationships
and the feelings of others.
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- 2. Money factors
For most of us, the attainment of our goals and dreams are closely
tied to our financial circumstances. The scope and the timing
of the process of becoming the new you is very much (a) dependent
on the present of how much money you have, earn and spend and
(b) dependent on the future of how much money you will have,
will earn and will spend. And money is directly tied to how
you interact with the world around you, such as your career or
business, your lifestyle, your relationships with people, etc.
Your attitude is a key factor. Reflect on your current financial
circumstances, the underlying factors, and your projections for
your future finances. What are your main strengths and main
limitations?
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- 3. Integration of your aspirations
and your money factors
Now, envision how you might be able to integrate your ambitions
of becoming the new you (from step #1) with the money factors
(from step #2). Often, there are significant difficulties in
the integration. You might not think it is possible to become
fully a new you in your present career or with your current assets
or even if you changed your patterns of earning and spending.
Furthermore, your transitioning might involve restructuring key
personal relationships with important effects on your financial
health. (e.g. divorce of a wife and the sharing of assets).
However, it is indeed possible to integrate both your ambitions
of becoming the new you (from step #1) with the money factors
(from step #2). Moreover, the process of integration could be
quite empowering and enlivening, and provide you with useful
tools on how to live a life that is more fully engaged, with
greater financial resources, better personal relationships, and
very self-expressed. That is what this seminar and presentation
are about. How to integrate. How to attain what might ordinarily
seem not possible. How to become more fully engaged and self-expressed.
-
- (Continued on page 2)
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- The Money Steps of Becoming the New You
Page 2
Presentation by Frank Sisco, CPA, Personal Financial Specialist
at IFGE conference in March 2003
2003 Copyright Fran(k) Sisco and Financial Management Corporation
For more information, contact Fran(k) Sisco at tel 914.381.3737
or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com
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-
- B. Frank’s Financial Rules
- In order to integrate your aspirations and
your money factors, it might be helpful to consider the following
general guidelines, called Frank’s Financial Rules:
-
- 1. Focus
on what you really want, and are willing to strive for. Reevaluate
your relationship with yourself, with God, spouse, family, friends,
clients, customers, employer, employees, community, parish, clubs,
etc. Instead of being 80% focused on yourself and 20% on others,
try 20% on yourself and 80% on others. Give and you will get.
Try focusing on matters more people-connected, emotional and
spiritual than on matters mostly thing-connected and physical.
Not only a positive attitude but a helping attitude.
-
- 2. Plan,
after careful research and talking with relatives, friends and
experts. As part of the plan, aim for higher income and for improved
relationships and a greater capacity to serve others and give
value.
-
-
- 3. Protect your
financial situation, including investments, insurance, career
and/or business. Get independent and objective advice that is
sensitive to your needs and situation. Don't rob from the future
by taking on a heavy debt load.
-
-
- 4. Express yourself as fully as possible. Trim expectations of getting
from others, and instead set targets of what you will give and
to whom. Be here now, living as much as possible in the moment,
developing important relationships.
-
-
- 5. Seek opportunities through people, always trying to enlarge the group of individuals
you impact and who impact you.
-
-
- 6. Pray . It is okay to ask God for help in your quest and in solving
your current problems and financial difficulties. Prayers are
often answered. God (or whatever your concept of a higher power)
is your best ally. If you don’t believe in a higher power,
talk to others who do and find out the benefits.
-
-
- (Continued on page 3)
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-
-
- The Money Steps of Becoming the New You
Page 3
Presentation by Frank Sisco, CPA, Personal Financial Specialist
at IFGE conference in March 2003
2003 Copyright Fran(k) Sisco and Financial Management Corporation
For more information, contact Fran(k) Sisco at tel 914.381.3737
or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com
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-
- C. Detailed steps on integrating (a) your aspirations
of becoming the new you
and (b) your money
-
- After considering the above general rules,
in order to integrate your aspirations and your money factors,
it can be helpful to consider the following detailed steps, which
are grouped by Financial, Physical, and Feelings and Relationships
-
- C1. Financial
1. Position yourself to earn more money, not less. May involve
more education, training in a new field, part-time work as a
woman to phase-in, start a business, etc. Favor areas you have
a passion about, and have acumen.
-
- 2. Avoid new debt whenever possible. New
debt makes the future more difficult not less difficult. For
example, embark on cosmetic surgery in a careful, measured approach,
undertaking additional procedures as certain financial milestones
are reached.
-
- 3. Protect investments. Very important not
to risk your principal. Avoid equity-related investments (e.g.
mutual funds of stocks) unless you also get a guarantee of principal.
Shorten maturities of bond investments. Reduce management risk
through diversification and less active management. Consider
automatic rebalancing, at least quarterly.
-
- 3. Take care of responsibilities. Get sufficient
insurance (health, life, disability, long-term care, homeowners,
etc.) Resolve open issues. Pay off debt. Reduce expenses. Avoid
addictions.
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- 4. Set target financial goals - 1 year,
3 year, 5 year (anticipating increased expression of gender-related
plans). Estimate your expenditures such as clothing, electrolysis,
hormones, cosmetic surgery, SRS. Estimate the effect on relationships
and financial effects (e.g. loss of second income of spouse if
divorced and cost of divorce including assets lost, etc.)
-
- 5. Continually strive to use money as a tool
to become the new you, not an obstacle. Get a mentor. Engage
others in your quest. Give back to your communities and to others.
Develop personality traits including spirituality, service to
others, etc. Enroll God in your plan.
-
- C2. Physical
1. Plan your physical changes, with time frames and costs. Be
realistic and not overly ambitious. Include at a minimum the
following:
Clothing, accessories, wigs, etc. _$________________
- Services (e.g. voice coaching_$____________________
Electrolysis _$______________
- Hormones _$_______________________
Cosmetic surgery _$_____________
- Sex Reassignment Surgery _$_______________________
Counseling, therapy,, etc. _$_______________________
Various other (e.g. conferences, parties) _$_______________________
Total (over what time frame?) _$_______________________
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- (Continued on page 4)
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-
-
- The Money Steps of Becoming the New You
Page 4
Presentation by Frank Sisco, CPA, Personal Financial Specialist
at IFGE conference in March 2003
2003 Copyright Fran(k) Sisco and Financial Management Corporation
For more information, contact Fran(k) Sisco at tel 914.381.3737
or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com
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-
- 2. Explore alternatives with friends, mentors,
etc. Do research. Enroll in organizations.
-
- 3. Develop financial strategies to attain
physical plans.
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- 4. Adjust plans. Widen horizons, and utilize
opportunities to express yourself. Be flexible.
-
- C3. Feelings and Relationships
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- 1. Review important relationships (e.g. spouse,
children, parents, friends, co-workers, employers and employees,
customers and clients, etc.) and strategize how becoming a new
you will impact your relationships. Develop strategies to express
yourself (at what cost) instead of being secretive, which varies
with each person. Asses your sexuality and possible changes.
(e.g.heterosexual crossdresser to bisexual transsexual).
-
- 2. Start from the premise that you want to
retain all relationships, if possible. Perhaps, not in the same
degree or type, but as deep and as meaningful.
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- 3. Get help and guidance from counselors,
therapists, family members, friends, etc. Don't go it alone.
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- 4. Develop your evolving persona to be better
than you are currently. This enlivens you and enlivens your relationships
and makes the transition smoother. Be more loving, considerate,
kind, fun-loving, caring, unselfish, active in the community,
giving, tolerant, happier, etc. Consider being more spiritual,
and build on your relationship with God and others in your community.
Express the real you, then improve, then express the new you,
then improve, then express the newer you, all the while being
fully engaged in life and in the wonderful process of change.
Love yourself, and all around you.
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