This article was published in the "Martinelli Newspapers" in the February 22, 2007 weekly issue of The Westchester Crusader, The Rye Chronicle, The Eastchester Record, The Pelham Sun, The Sound View News Home News & Times, The Mt. Vernon Independent, Harrison Independent
and North Castle News

Life and Money TM - "The Trend of Living Longer - Part1"

By Frank Sisco, CPA, PFS

Copyright 2007 Frank Sisco

Cell - 914.589.1013; Email – ideasmoney@aol.com

(Word count = 866 words plus 32 words for About the Author)

Regarding trends, our challenge is to figure out how to enhance our own life and the lives of others once we recognize the major trends shaping our world. As discussed in my previous column, after we identify trends and the implications, the next step is the crucial one. Go more deeply than your initial thoughts and reflect on ways to improve the quality of your life, its meaningfulness, its value, and how your life can bring about a better life for other people. Start small and close then expand your perspective to a much larger context then bring it close again. Here's an example of the process.

The trend - People are living longer. In my last column, I cited the news event of the death of Emma Faust Tillman, reportedly the oldest person in the world, who died at age 114. She was one of 23 children, and at least five of her siblings lived past age 100.

A. Enhanced opportunities - As we think about Emma, and others like her, we should move past the thoughts of the many problems old age brings such as sickness, money running out, and the possible burdens on others. Instead, shouldn't we think about the blessings and opportunity of additional time older people like Emma had for her to share her life with so many close ones for so long, and the opportunities of others to share their lives with her? True gifts.
Does vacation length offer us some perspective? When you're about to go on a three-week vacation out of the country, it is so much more important that you are careful about the planning, what you bring, and your relationships with others than if you are taking a two-day vacation within driving distance. There is so much more opportunity, and more at stake, with the longer vacation.

B. Reallocations of time - My initial reflections started with thinking about the people I know of advanced age, many in their eighties and nineties. When I close my eyes, I can see eight clients who passed away in the last few years. On one level, I feel I helped them during their lives, but I recognize I could have done much more. Each of them had reasonably good relationships with their family members, but all had some issues left unresolved. Often the family members were scattered geographically. At the very least, I could have spent more time with them and listened intently to their stories of relatives, especially about their grandchildren and great grandchildren. For one man whose only child lived on the West Coast, I found myself handling some of his personal errands in response to his repeated requests. I had conflicted feelings of being privileged that he trusted me mixed with some upset that my helping him interfered with my other responsibilities. I realized that I must reduce some of my activities to allow time for people like him who need my help. During my reflections, I realized I could have called these older clients more often and offered a cheerful bit of news. Wouldn't that extra time have been more valuable than spending it on the work I did for younger healthier clients who still had lives filled with vitality and joy? Were my occasional volunteer readings of poetry with the Poetry Caravan at nursing homes frequent or deep enough?

My thoughts turned to my own senior relatives. I'm fortunate to have both parents alive and nearby. But their health in the last few years has been declining. Although I try to help them and make more time for them, I see that I need to do much more. Last week my aunt who turns ninety in April entered the hospital, the third time in the last year. The other night when I entered the room hoping to see her bright cheerful face welcome me as a sign she was doing okay, I saw a blank stare instead. She did not know my name. Thankfully, her state of confusion, due to toxicity and meds, improved but at some point it won't. Should I have traded the time spent on my own piano lessons for time visiting her and talking about her day?

We all could allocate more time to the elderly. But where will this time come from? One place is clearing up the clutter in our lives and making way for matters more important. In my own life, I'll be setting aside more of my time, not just the next few weeks, but permanently. Two ways are working smarter and giving up some of my hobbies for the time being. I think about the saying "To the person to whom much is given, much is expected." I believe this does not just pertain to skills and talent, but also to wisdom, age and love. People who have a high capacity for love and helping others are responsible for sharing that with others. As time grows shorter and tighter, that responsibility increases. Are you doing what you could?

My next column will further explore the trend of living longer, particularly the matters of nursing homes, independent living, quality of life, reconciliation, and change of heart.

About the author.
Frank Sisco is a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist and writes on topics related to life and money. He resides in New Rochelle, NY with his wife and daughter