This article was published in the "Martinelli Newspapers" in the December 28 , 2006 weekly issue of The Westchester Crusader, The Rye Chronicle, The Eastchester Record, The Pelham Sun, The Sound View News Home News & Times, The Mt. Vernon Independent, Harrison Independent
and North Castle News

Life and Money TM - "Re-Gifting"

By Frank Sisco, CPA, PFS

Copyright 2006 Frank Sisco

Cell - 914.589.1013; Email – ideasmoney@aol.com

(Word count =888 words plus 68 words for About the Author)

In early December, I pledged to get much more involved in gift-giving during the holiday season than I had in the past.    I wanted to better connect with people and express my love but yet avoid overspending or reckless buying. I was determined to cast off my usual excuses of being too busy to shop, too busy for small talk about presents, too busy to be just one of the crowd

I'm very pleased to report successes on many fronts. Perhaps the most exhilarating for me is the clear confirmation that buying gifts for someone else during the holiday season is part of a larger spiritual and human process of the "re-gifting of love."   The current phenomenon of re-gifting to another person a present you received in the past was covered in an excellent article in "USA Weekend" magazine at the end of November. The reasons this trend is quickly growing goes beyond the need to conserve money and time and also embraces people's desire to tie together the acts of receiving and giving and their desire to pass along value.  

One example of the "re-gifting of love" comes from a memorial service I attended recently in Bronxville for an 83-year old man, David, who led a very full life and was an inspiration to not only his family but also to the hundreds of others whom he impacted by his live-life-to-the-fullest manner.   Among his avocations were black belt karate master, author, art director, flamenco guitarist, actor, table tennis champ, gymnast and many more.   His wife, two sons and several others told heart-warming stories to the gathered group of over 100 people of examples of how David shared himself, in his own unique way, with the world.   One man, a professor and karate teacher, explained how he received from David, his teacher, many anecdotes and metaphors that he is now passing along to his students and they will soon to others.   In closing, the man said "Even though we are honoring David tonight because he is not here, it is actually that he always will be here." It reminded me of my brother Robert's wake and memorial service when I witnessed a huge outpouring of people testifying to the gifts Robert gave to each of them.

Several other positive instances occurred.   One example relates to my making "Mary's Almond Cookies," according to a recipe in the exciting new book "Cooking with the Bible" by Dr. Rayner Hesse, Jr. and Anthony Chiffolo.   Dr. Hesse is pastor of St. John's Episcopal Church in the north end of New Rochelle, NY.   He asked parishioners to volunteer to make two desserts, one to be eaten following the special Renaissance Christmas service on December 17th, and the other to be auctioned off, with the proceeds to be used for church expenses.   Ordinarily, a plea for gifts involving cooking or baking would not be something I would even consider.   This year I immediately volunteered to make the almond cookies.   I enrolled my mother to help me, not just for the assistance but also as a new way for us to connect with each other during the holidays.   I went to her house one evening with the ingredients.   We mixed and stirred and baked, and alas the cookies turned out delicious.   My father waited up to eat a few.   At the auction, I shared the story with several others who will try the recipe too.  

In other examples, I took time to talk with people about what they wanted, and to explore their desires in much detail.   In some cases, I even went with them shopping to get the items.   With my mother, it was a set of frying pans and attempts at a sweater.   For my daughter Kelly, we traveled over the Tappan Zee Bridge late at night in search of a Sony Play Station Portable set.   But it was her gift to me that was very special.   I asked her to accompany me to the Renaissance Christmas service, despite her sore throat and stuffiness.   She said she felt lousy and couldn't.    I left my house to go to the nearby church without her, very disappointed.   A few minutes into the service, I turned around, and there she was.   She walked over to join me and my wife Lorrie!   As we all sang carols in the church brimming with people, I was quite thankful to see her participate, despite her throat problems.

In my volunteer work last week as a poet with the Poetry Caravan, I focused on re-gifting in sharing poems and stories.   I passed along a fantasy story I heard about the man who entered heaven and insisted that Saint Peter show him the contents of the gleaming white building just beyond the gates of heaven.   Saint Peter warned him that he may be saddened by what he would see inside, but the man insisted on going in.   When they entered, he saw scores of tall piles of white boxes of all sizes wrapped in red ribbons, and asked Saint Peter what they were and who were they for.   Saint Peter answered, "I'm sorry to tell you that they are the gifts that God was planning to give you, if only you had asked." Re-gifting involves a heart that is not only generous but also one that reaches out and asks.

About the author.

Frank Sisco is a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist, and author of many articles about personal finance and issues of life and money.   His firm, Financial Management Corporation, is located in New Rochelle, NY, where he resides with his wife and daughter.   He can be reached at 914.740.4422 or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com.   Visit his website at www.LifeAndMoney.com, which contains this and prior articles.