This article article was published in the "New Rochelle Review" in the February 2006 issue.

“Life And Money”  TM –  Financial Planning Basics - Part 4

By Frank Sisco, CPA, PFS

This month's column discusses a twelfth general principle of the financial planning process for you to follow whether you do your planning on your own or with the guidance of financial advisors. You should modify them to your own particular situation. The basics covered in prior columns are:  1. Be personal and always mindful of your unique circumstances and feelings. 2. Stay in as much control as possible. 3.  Be conservative and protective. 4.  Strive for simplicity. 5.  Focus on making more money from your skills.  6.  Be frugal with money and time.  7. Prioritize. 8. Increase your value to others. 9.  Leverage relationships and time. 10. Develop your purpose. 11. Express yourself effortlessly.   Details of these eleven are at www.LifeAndMoney.com.

12.  Heal important relationships within your family - No one is free from the concerns or complications of difficult relationships.  Most of us, when faced with a problematic family member, take a detour rather than facing it head-on and doing whatever needs to be done to repair the relationship.  Unresolved issues in relationships could cause havoc not only on one's peace of mind and happiness, but also on one's health and financial well being.  Often, the effect is felt after a death and the allocation of assets.  Take Ellen who has written out two of her four sons from her will because of a disagreement years ago.  If she never resolves it, forgives them and gets the missing sons back into the will, then ill feelings and imbalances in the sharing of assets will live on for generations.   Another example is about how two brothers, who never communicated well with each other, found themselves arguing often over who was handling more of their mother's needs as her health declined due to Alzheimer's. For several years, the older brother, who took over more healthcare responsibility, warned the younger one to be very frugal and avoid any large expenditures because at any moment their mother's assets might run out and they each might have to pay for very high long-term care expenses.  When the mother finally passed away, the younger brother learned that the mother had an amount of assets more than sufficient to handle the long-term care expenses for many years, and the older brother's caution was unfounded. If they had been communicating more honestly and more thoroughly with each other, this unfortunate misunderstanding could have been avoided.  For years, the younger brother had lived not as fully as possible. He avoided buying a house and sending the two children to better more expensive schools.

Children often are conspicuous spenders as a way to assert independence from a dominating parent, wasting money and time for the whole family.  Some husbands and wives let their relationship drift into despair and then divorce, often resulting in financial chaos. What might have been needed was better and more loving communication earlier in the marriage.  In business partner entanglements, improving communication can foster understanding and can save a business.

Take the first step toward resolving difficult relationships.  Let your fairness and forgiveness lead the way.  Get the help of other family members or advisors if necessary.   Heal and watch your finances improve greatly.

About the author

Frank Sisco is a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist, and author of several articles about personal finance and issues of life and money.   His firm, Financial Management Corporation, is located in Harrison, NY.  Frank makes his home with his wife and daughter in New Rochelle, NY.  He can be reached at 914.381.3737 or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com, or visit his website at www.LifeAndMoney.com which contains this and prior articles.

Submitted 1/27/06, 4pm

by Frank Sisco