(Word count = 733 words plus 61 words for About the Author)

Following the Friday afternoon memorial service for Art Johnson at the Pound Ridge Community Church, calmness overcame me as I drove back home to New Rochelle.   Perhaps the soothing feeling arose from thinking about the loving testimonials, or the beautiful singing.   Or seeing Art's wife Mebby and sons, Drew, Peter and Kevin.   Perhaps it was Pastor Johnson stirring message and readings.   Or the many engaging stories told by friends and family members to the crowded church, so much alive with warmth and love.   Usually, memorial services make me edgy and upset, agitated by the heartache, sorrow and complications that death brings.   But in this case, I felt calm, even though I felt remorse that Art's life was cut way too short at 59 and a day.

It was then, in my car driving home, that I realized Art's spirit was right there with us all during the service.   He was there comforting us that matters would indeed turn out okay.   Art was nodding in agreement as Pastor Johnson told us that change brings anxiety but also brings hope, even in this final change.   Art surely knew change.   His careers were numerous.   He was a mortgage broker, an advertising manager, an investment registered representative, an inner-city schoolteacher, and several pastimes in-between like selling boats.    Art was right there with us laughing and smiling as friends and relatives recounted Art's witty jokes and eccentricities. His passion for immaculate and sharp-looking cars, boats and motorcycles, the years of playing sports and coaching, and doing everything full-out.   He was smiling proudly with us as his sons spoke lovingly about their father and captured his essence.   Kevin said his father was a very honorable good man.    Drew said that the family was awestruck by the huge outpouring of love, evident in the packed church and the over 200 phones calls they received.   Drew followed-up on a friend's remark that Art once ran with the bulls in Spain by saying that the bulls would have said that they ran with Art.   And Art was with us as we shared how much we will miss him - all of him, his many sides, his incredible love for life and his unflinching dedication to and care of his family.

During the drive home, I thought about the other people I know who died in the last few weeks. (Marty at age 62 and Lillian at age 90).   As I saw the road in front of me, I also saw their faces and heard their voices. I thought of how they empowered the lives of others, including mine.   For my Aunt Estelle who died at age 89, my mother and I arranged a memorial service and gathering with many friends and relatives at St. John's Episcopal Church in New Rochelle,   We planted a cherry tree there in her honor.   We shared scores of photos and stories and loving memories. Pastor Hesse and Music Director Eric Jennings made the service extra special.   My daughter Kelly sang Hillary Duff's "Someone's Watching Over Me" as Tom Foley played his guitar.   For each deceased person, I played a part in helping them make their financial life a bit simpler, a bit easier to deal with when they passed.   For that I am very thankful.

I happen to believe strongly in an afterlife, and that one day I may meet up again with these individuals.   But even if I don't, keeping alive in me the memories of their aspects, qualities and experiences helps me to go forward in my own life, a bit richer and a bit wiser. As we live, we accumulate many experiences and thoughts, especially those that involve people with whom we have frequent contact. A part of them rubs off on us.   Perhaps, even in a metaphysical way, a sampling of their energy, of their being, somehow gets into us and becomes part of our energy, our being. By remembering, we stir up these particles of spirit, these vestiges of essence, and get them to vibrate again.    We should remember, not so much as to relive a past in which to dwell, but more so to help create a better future in which to thrive.

In a future column, I will include a dedication paragraph for those readers who want to write to me about something special they want to share about a loved one, as a way to remember and honor them.

About the author:

Frank Sisco is a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist and writes on topics related to life and money.   You can contact Frank by email at ideasmoney@aol.com or by phone at 914.740.4422 in order to express your opinion about this article or to obtain copies of prior articles.   He resides in New Rochelle, NY with his wife and daughter.