(Word count = 884 words plus 68 words for About the Author)

Stanley Kunitz, the world famous American poet who died last year at age 100, wrote a poem called "The Layers."   In it he mused about the various layers of his life, and how the phases and their changes were frequent, continuing, and upsetting as well as full of promise.   Near the middle of the poem, he admitted, "I have made myself a tribe of my true affections and my tribe is scattered.   How shall the heart be reconciled to its feast of losses?"   Reflect for a moment on the many different walks in your own life, some of which from the present perspective may seem to have ended without benefit.   In loss.    The broken business endeavors and lost jobs.    The forsaken friends.   Perhaps a shattered marriage.   Debilitating debt that still accumulates.   Close your eyes and try to see the many sides of yourself, as Kunitz did in his poem, that seem to have been different people forming a "tribe," the members of which have scattered in many directions.   Look over the expanse of your life. When I do that exercise I see myself in many different roles, some almost unrecognizable, each with its own separate world of relationships, filled with people most of whom I have not communicated with in years.   Lost layers.   I see perhaps too many "affections," such as hobbies or ideas I pursued at the expense of time, money and family.   Surely in the name of personal growth or "living life it its fullest" but scattered and without real tangible payback nonetheless.   You, I'm certain have many sides as well.   How can we make it better in the future?   One suggestion is to declare a new day on detours and distractions.   Here are some steps I've decided to take in my own life.

Step   #1 - Reduce certain activities to their barest; yet retain the essence, starting with the smallest and simplest to sharpen the saw.   A few examples follow.   On a recent Sunday, I planned to watch the 2-hour new season premiere of "24" with my wife, Lorrie.   We've been avid fans since the beginning of the series.   She prepared our late dinner to be eaten on the family coffee table in front of the TV.   At three minutes before the show, I complicated everything by insisting that I tape record the show, rushed around for the right remote to adjust the VCR and TV settings, scrambled for a tape and presto I pushed the record button 10 seconds before the show started.   Lorrie was upset by the last-minute tumult, just as she wanted to relax.   I got distracted away from the main event of enjoying our favorite TV show with each other, and got pulled in by my compulsiveness and obsessiveness to tape the show.   Later in the evening, I realized it was a distraction I should have avoided.   After all, what would I really do with the tape?   Lend it to a friend who missed the show, and then worry they would not return the tape, and obsess about that?   I need to reduce ancillary activities surrounding core events.

The other night I went to a computer cohort's home office to plan certain joint activities concerning websites and internet videos.   As he showed me a list of 120 domain names and his plans to create 85 websites during the next few months, I got to see my own type of A.D.D.   behavior mirrored in him, being distracted and set up to fail.   Yes, some of his sites will succeed, but I think the likelihood is greater if he halved or quartered the number of attempts. I must pare my own entrepreneurial ventures to a select few and focus my energies on them.   Fewer detours will occur.

Step #2 - Take responsibility in the beginning and stay involved.   On a recent Tuesday evening, I met a new client in his late 60s, introduced by a CPA colleague, to help him reevaluate his personal finances, including the portfolio of his investments.   It seems that his investments were more complicated and risky than needed to be in his circumstances.   I think one factor has been that he delegated to others the decisions he should have had a more active role in making at the start.    Had he taken responsibility earlier and stuck with it, he would not be now trying to possibly undo what's been done.

Step #3 - Build your puzzle with fewer pieces.   Now well into my fifties, I've become more mindful of the time and money eaten up by distractions and detours.   I see the past experiences as pieces in a puzzle that do indeed seem to fit, although perhaps forced, with edges trimmed. Out of the box and on the table are many pieces I've yet to fit into my puzzle, like current projects and relationships I've started.    Life, no doubt, will drop more pieces on the table.    I'm going to make a concerted effort that for each new piece I move from the tabletop to the puzzle, I'm going to take another piece and move it back to the box for perhaps another day or another life.   And I'll stand back and look at the puzzle for its overall impact, and how it fits with the puzzles of the people around me.   How about your puzzle?

About the author.

Frank Sisco is a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist, and author of many articles about personal finance and issues of life and money.   His firm, Financial Management Corporation, is located in New Rochelle, NY.  Frank makes his home with his wife and daughter in New Rochelle, NY.  He can be reached at 914.740.4422 or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com.  Visit his website at www.LifeAndMoney.com, which contains this and prior articles.