(Word count = 853 words plus 68 words for About the Author)

I woke up this morning with gift buying on my mind.   Perhaps as a result of a story I heard last night.     In the last few hours, I've been setting out new paths.

First my thoughts were general and detached.   I considered the pervasive effect of gift buying in December.     What other activity affects the life and money of more people?   Christmas is the focus for many of us, but during this time of year people of all religions get involved in the spirit of setting aside time to buy gifts for others as a way to express love and thankfulness.   Sure, some people complain that the true message and meaning of the holidays get overshadowed by the commercialization, and the stress it often brings.   But I feel the shortcomings are minor in comparison to the incredible joy and wonder this season brings into our hearts, especially children.   Also, the stage is set for a new year, a better year.

Then, my thoughts started turning personal. And reflective.   How have I been as a gift buyer?   Terrible!   When I look back over the years, I am embarrassed how little I really did.   I see myself In my twenties and thirties, rushing around stores picking out things that were a haphazard guess as to what the recipient wanted, or should want.    One year, decades ago, I bought my wife, Lorrie, four scarves in various fabrics and colors figuring she would like at least one of them. She hates scarves, as I learned, and should have known.    With my eyes closed, I see my daughter, Kelly as a very young girl opening gifts near the Christmas tree.   And some I was seeing for the first time!   Lorrie has handled ninety-percent of the gift buying for our daughter over the years.    I got involved in the approval of the major expensive items, but otherwise it was her job.   The next scene I see is passively looking on at my parents house as relatives talked about their experiences - the sales, the stores, the crowds, the gift receipts tucked inside the boxes.   Passive.    Taking the video of it all, but not really participating.    A terrible gift buyer.    The next scene is early January, of the last ten years throwing out the folder I kept with all the gift guides I collected each November and December from newspapers and magazines.   The guides I never even opened.

This year is different.   It's the fifth of December as I'm writing.   This morning, I jumped into the process of gift buying.   I asked my wife about us getting a special surprise gift for our daughter, like tickets to a musical or other event in Manhattan.   I called my mother and asked about what she and my father might like for Christmas.   She was surprised because Lorrie always handles that.   I said I wanted this year to get more involved, and proceeded to chat about the details of a Norelco vs. Braun electric shaver for my father.   I learned that she has already bought him jogging pants (for watching television), underwear and slippers.   She said she doesn't need anything but after my coaxing admitted she could use slippers too and a sweatshirt.   When my mother-in-law called me with a tax question, before closing the conversation I found myself saying, "What do you want for Christmas?"   I could see her stunned face all the way from Florida through the phone cord.   We then talked about her wanting a turtleneck sweater and a Farberware coffee pot because of what the girl in the nearby Dunkin Donuts store told her.   Tonight, I plan to talk with my wife's sister Chris to find out if she already planned to buy the coffee pot for her, as she told Chris about it too.   Wow, I'm really getting engaged in the gift buying process, and liking it too.    Talking about gifts with my mother and mother-in-law led to discussions of other matters too.   Deeper, loving.   My mother-in-law mentioned that she was going later that day to her church to attend the funeral of a stranger.   She is a volunteer at funerals when the attendance is expected to be low (e.g. newcomers to the parish) as a way to be supportive.   What a wonderful gift.   Also, I felt privileged to find out about an aspect of her life she had not shared with others.

Last night I spent two hours with new clients, George and Rachel, talking about certain investment planning matters.  While taking about her profession, Rachel revealed that she has a photographic memory.   I then heard an amazing story about how she received the capability as a gift from God when she was nineteen years old after a spiritual experience when seated in a church in India with her cousin.   The skill led to her doing extremely well in college and getting more focused and successful in her life.   And much more joyous about her faith in God.   The gift changed her life.   The conversation turned toward sharing stories about the power of receiving gifts.   Looks like I'm making a few good steps in the right direction.

About the author.

Frank Sisco is a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist, and author of many articles about personal finance and issues of life and money.   His firm, Financial Management Corporation, is located in New Rochelle, NY.  Frank makes his home with his wife and daughter in New Rochelle, NY.  He can be reached at 914.740.4422 or by email at ideasmoney@aol.com.  Visit his website at www.LifeAndMoney.com, which contains this and prior articles.